Toilets

I don’t like those toilets that, when you flush them, splash up droplets onto the toilet seat.  That’s poor design.

Babies

Why is it everyone makes over a baby like they’ve never seen one before?

Oh, No

Today may be the day my head explodes!

Squirrel Crossing

I’m glad the squirrel used the crosswalk this morning.  S Main Street can get pretty busy!

Celebration

I should grow a beard for Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.

Snacks

100 Calorie snack bags might be good…if you’re a bird.

My Morning

Brush with PreviDent 5000, scrape the tongue, floss the teeth, rinse with ACT Restoring, apply MI Paste Plus with calcium and fluoride.

I Am A Man!

I used a two-ton floor jack to replace my broken seven inch bed lift.

Police Officers

I wonder if police officers get frustrated constantly driving behind people who are driving the speed limit.

Speed

I added Formula 2 to my Formula 1 car.  Now it runs twice as fast.

Last One Out, Turn Off the Lights

You wouldn’t even know if you were the last person on earth.  How could you?

Bureaucracy

Bureaucracy stifles life.

Fred or Rick

Do people named Frederick every go by Rick instead of Fred?

Fluids

I don’t think snot itself has DNA, but I could be wrong.

Judgement

Yes, I mentally judge you when you are still 8 feet away from me, but are overpowering me with raunchy cigarette smell.  I’m sorry, and I’m trying to do better.

Eden

I wonder if Adam and Eve had to sleep.

Regeneration

I just found a gummy worm in my bag.  I wonder if I dropped a piece in yesterday and it grew overnight.

Debate

I'm so bad at arguing, I couldn't convince someone of something they already wholeheartedly believed in.

Cool

This morning on the way to work I was behind a small, green car with the license plate KNG KUPA.

Question of the Day

What doesn't Firefox automatic spellchecker recognize contractions?