Geniuses

You know how some geniuses are absent minded?  I think that’s me.

Zomibe

Mindless work is still work.

Texting

If you’re sent an invitation via text, it is perfectly acceptable to decline via text.

Banana Phone

Does pretending to use your banana as a phone ever stop being funny?

Trouble

Should you really give your child a first name that rhymes with your last name?

Estimatating

When you ask someone to wait “two seconds,” you’re setting yourself up for failure.

Rollin', rollin', rollin'

I really haven’t been Rickrolled in a while…

Runaway!

It’s funny how little kids take off from their parents although they have no idea where they’re heading.

Toilets

I don’t like those toilets that, when you flush them, splash up droplets onto the toilet seat.  That’s poor design.

Babies

Why is it everyone makes over a baby like they’ve never seen one before?

Oh, No

Today may be the day my head explodes!

Squirrel Crossing

I’m glad the squirrel used the crosswalk this morning.  S Main Street can get pretty busy!

Celebration

I should grow a beard for Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.

Snacks

100 Calorie snack bags might be good…if you’re a bird.

My Morning

Brush with PreviDent 5000, scrape the tongue, floss the teeth, rinse with ACT Restoring, apply MI Paste Plus with calcium and fluoride.

I Am A Man!

I used a two-ton floor jack to replace my broken seven inch bed lift.

Police Officers

I wonder if police officers get frustrated constantly driving behind people who are driving the speed limit.

Speed

I added Formula 2 to my Formula 1 car.  Now it runs twice as fast.

Last One Out, Turn Off the Lights

You wouldn’t even know if you were the last person on earth.  How could you?

Bureaucracy

Bureaucracy stifles life.